


losing memory

by qubrazahra



Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: F/M, More Fluff, for me it is, idk i dont usually write fluff, shit ton of fluff, so i dont know if this is fluff enough
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-01
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-09-13 21:39:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9143332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qubrazahra/pseuds/qubrazahra
Summary: what this meant was that there was no longer the tainted memory of being kissed in the dark by a boy she never learnt to love. when she thinks about kissing, she no longer has to remember her mouth intruded by a boy she lets touch her because she figured love meant saying yes even when she really wants to say no. kissing taehyung now means letting those memories that had always hurt her go and it was liberating.





	

**Author's Note:**

> probably should capitalize words properly. but then again, doesn't change much else so

"if you're going to keep eating my food, shouldn't you have bought your own?" she grunted when taehyung refused to stop stealing her fries. flashing her his boxy smile, he casually picked up another piece of fries before putting it in his mouth. she stared at him through half-lidded eyes and ignored him as he continued feasting on her food.

they spend the night walking around town, stopping by random cafes, buying different snacks every time. it was close to 1 in the morning now and most of the stores are closed. they have take away milk shakes in hand and they decided that maybe heading towards the hangang river would be a good idea.

2am and they're laying on the steps staring into the night sky. she took a drag of her cigarette and tries to imagine the cloud as a puppy. she breaks out in a chuckle when she realizes that it looks more like a distorted dinosaur. taehyung watches the girl beside him. brighter than the stars above them, she has sparkling eyes and an awe-inspiring laugh. he cannot help but stare.

"you're going to burn a hole into this face." she mumbled and turned to look at taehyung who only returned her a soft smile. she turns her sight back to the night sky. _don't look at him. don't look at him. it'll hurt. it'll hurt._ she focuses again on her cigarette and the clouds.

neither of them knew when _it_  started. neither of them even know what _it_  is. _it_ was her asking taehyung if he wanted to catch a movie with her and then _it_ was taehyung asking if she wanted to grab a meal with him. and _it_ kept going. before they knew it, most of the time, they're with each other doing god knows what. _it_ was always taehyung this taehyung that, never one without the other.

"i will. i'll burn a hole in your face and you can do nothing to stop me." taehyung teased laying chest to the ground comfortably beside her, resting his chin on his palms. he didn't want to stop, couldn't look away so he figured _fuck it,_ he'll stare if he wants to.

she kept silent, from her peripheral vision she noticed his smile and she felt her heartbeat rise. this boy fucks her the way nothing else can. so many time she finds herself thinking about how his fingers would feel lining the inches of her skin. thoughts of him being close enough for her to touch brings a familiar redness to her cheek and she quickly take her palms to cover her eyes — she's braver in the dark. she counted slowly, hoping that her heart rate would gradually pace slower but before she could reach 5, the warmth of another hand picked her fingers away from her face. eyes opened the first thing she saw was his eyes: soft, brown orbs wondering across the constellation of his features. he smiles and she wonders why she even try to keep herself away.

"stop." she warned, moving her face away but again, the same soft hands pulled her chin back to where she was before. her eyes meet the same brown orbs and she finds her mouth slowly growing agape. there is no way she could act nonchalant with his face just inches away.

she could swear she heard taehyung mutter a soft "fuck it" before leaning in, covering the space between them. on her lips, his lips rested and for a moment her eyes grew larger. here was the god of her life, resting on her skin. the ethereal being that he was, skin to skin with her. a scene straight out of her dreams was playing in real time and it took her a straight second to get it together. when she realised that this was happening, she found herself smiling against taehyung's soft lips. her eyes flutter close and she lets herself dwell in the moment. she'll remember this forever. she parted her lips open. gaining entrance, taehyung grabbed her cheeks, holding her face, fragile as it was to him, as close as he possibly could.

this was something out of his dreams. he played this over and over again. when is the right time? when could he reach out to her? when can his two hands hold the holiness of her cheeks? when the opportunity arises, he knew he could not hold back. and god knows how good it felt. holding her between his palms it felt as if the world was right there for him to either smother or smooch.

he imagined her to be a garden, flowers of all kinds blooming in every direction. this was nothing less. now the flowers has scents, it has colours of immeasurable arrays: she was the spring he had always longed for and now she's here. an eden his mind could never have fathomed.

if someone asked her who her first kiss was and how it was like before today, the memory that quickly take residence in her mind was when she was 17. desperate for love, holding on to a boy who never did love her the way a person should, he used her body as if she was something to take and leave. she would tell the person who asked that her first kiss felt like a robbery. it was a heist and she stood still for the taking. she would say it felt like something she treasured and kept locked away was stolen right before her eyes and she stood powerless against it.

but the moment taehyung leaned in, took her the way she knew she should've been taken the first time she was stolen, it erased everything that tainted her in the first place.

if someone asked her now who her first kiss was and what it felt like, she would say it felt a lot like home. there was nothing out of the world, no sparks or fire greater than she'd ever seen. her first kiss was just right, fits perfectly in the arms of a beautiful night.


End file.
